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New life in Cheam Park exposed as potential pest

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After further investigation, we can now bring you further news on the new life form discovered in Cheam Park.  After careful investigation experts have agreed that this is a hybrid of the equum et plaustrum family and is in fact quite an old and established pest that has managed to evolve through the years.

Local environmentalists have been advised that in fact this latest manifestation is as bigger pest as it was in years gone by,  Experts have named this pest hominum inconsiderate.

We publish below the first pictures of this pest in all its glory and show the level of damage that can be visted on parkland if this is left unchecked.  We have, however deliberately obscured any distinguishing marks and references in order that the pest is not trailed further in the park.

However, the local experts and authorities will have access to the locations of these pests and will do their best to control future outbursts.

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